AT THE END OF 2010

2010 has been a very nice year. I think there were quite a few surprizes along the way and while it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t all that bad either haha.

I have been “dragged out” for a number of outings and stuff these holidays and it has been a good while since i have been so busy. In a way, its nice although I’m still complaining and what not when things get a little complicated/irritating along the way. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unpleasant and giving attitude problems haha.  But, its nice to know that somehow (I have no idea why or how), there are people who remember and bother. And for that, I must try to be more appreciative of what I have right now.
Its been really long since I found another good friend to hang out with. I must admit that the prospect of having a semester buddy didn’t really seem that promising initially but it turned out much better than I predicted. We’re total opposites in terms of interest and lifestyle but I think we do share similar beliefs and mindsets about certain things, and probably that’s how we manage to get along haha. I have been a most uptight person for ages and I do believe that up to now, I told him the most about myself, which may not be a good thing actually haha. Many of us are going for exchange next semester and I do believe a lot will change, and a lot has and is changing after the semester has ended. I would like to and will try to believe that I was wrong for expecting a limit or an end to everything.

BUT STILL, I cannot help but get irritated when Kbox is having $6 nett promotion and I cannot find people to go with! The people around me are either very english or non-K, and it is quite sianz to go with people who sing english songs while I’m the only one who’s updated on Chinese songs, sigh.

And I read this book which says that all of us are born with a specific 命盘 (chosen by your very own dear soul right at the start) and everything that is and happen to us are predetermined by it. Supposedly, it is useless to go against fate, but we can affect its effects on us by learning to 顺势而行 and training ourselves to accept and deal with it.  It makes quite a lot of sense to me but I think 我想继续执着。2010 has been an important and memorable year, cause it’s the start of many nice things. And in 2011, I will have to put in a lot of hard work to change and work my way through, to keep what I want and set aside unnecessary burdens.  And I will worry about the many efforts and changes and their consequences, like when you realize that your actions have dire consequences and that in many instances, there’s no chance for  a retake.

如果我不愿接受，也不愿放开，未来是不是会为了我而改变?

And I think 2011 will be an exciting year indeed haha.
Happy New Year!

可不可以

This past month has been quite painful to go through. I was quite lost and confused by certain people and I really didn’t know how to go about handling it. I was quite vexed, uncertain, confused, lost, irritated and to top it all off, it doesn’t even involve me. Okay, maybe I was involved in many ways but I am certainly not the crux of the issue. And I finally clarified it today, partly cause I couldn’t really take it anymore, but also because I needed to know my role. At least now I have a better feel and understanding of where things are heading and my part to play in it. But then again, this came at a time when I felt the need to go into hibernation. sigh.

And I really 郑可为’s 可不可以. It has a really amazing bridge that makes me feel like I’m being stabbed right in the heart. That sounds a little graphic and wrong but I really like that bridge.

终于发现抵抗会更难  内心的呼唤不该隐藏
所以拥抱影子  转身背着阳光
沉沦一分钟的绝望  却还坚信 this too shall pass

郑可为 - 可不可以

And before I forget, Merry Christmas.

他们在毕业的前一天爆炸

This is one of those “don’t really know what to write but insist on blogging” post.

The days are passing faster now. And I seem to have some difficulty getting myself excited about many things. Even SEP seems a little troublesome and a little vexing at times, when there’s still quite abit to prepare and so much uncertainty ahead.

Life sucks during these down periods but at least I have a nice but short 5-ep drama to look forward to. Ep 1 and 2 just came out but I watched ep 1 already when they officially released it on youtube before it was shown on TV (which I think is quite a smart move to increase exposure and popularity). 

他们在毕业的前一天爆炸

Sometimes its so difficult for me to go ahead and justify lots of things, so much so that I feel like giving up at times. And each time, I will convince myself to move forward and press on, but it doesn’t help that I know how unconvinced I really am.

Sigh.