... ... SISPEC ... ...

and yup the posting's finally out...
and i going into sispec infantry ldr!
not that i'm terribly happy and excited abt it! the idea of chiong sua is juz unbearable =(
bottom line is i'm still a slacker at heart haha
sigh look at how much i've changed over the yrs... okay maybe not that much but still i was more dilligent and aspiring back then

hm...
sometimes msn nicks/personal messages can be so informative haha...
its fascinating why ppl wld want to put everything up there for everyone to see...
juz look at the no. of oct up there haha... (and i'm not being green-eyed here)
but yeah looking at all those i had a sudden urge to laugh juz now but i'm not sure whether i'm laughing at them or laughing at myself or both... and i don't know why either haha...
i think i'm getting a little bit cranky as the back-to-ns date draws near...
i kinda feel that i wasted my whole blk leave away...
i didn't really accomplish much and i never enjoy myself enough!
and thats only 2 days left sigh...

i guess up to now i've always been near lucky but never lucky...
or maybe its juz because i am never satisfied with wat i get...
but really if i am to be a sinner for that crime then make it such that i truly deserve that branding...
the world doesn't make sense but only because i do not make sense to the world...

... ... SOLITUDE ... ...

sometimes i wld choose to believe that life 'll be much better if i'm living alone by myself somewhere...

would my self-indulgence in solitude stop the weariness?

somehow i can never seem to recover...

this world really isn't made for me... or maybe i'm juz not made for this world...

this world has too high expectations and requirements of me but yet i can't seem to find any for it...

and i wish time wld stop for me... such that the nxt second 'll only come when i'm ready for the world again...

... ... POP ... ...

i offically poped out of BMTC today!
yay no more tekong! (unless there's guard duty or some other rubbish of course)
last few days of BMT were quite slack really... didn't really do much except packing and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning... yeah u get the picture haha...
wat matters is spending time with my section mates i guess haha...
basically we juz ate and ate and ate and ate rubbish...
no wonder i never really recover from my cough and sore throats haha...
i think i 'll really miss the slack times with them together haha... juz sitting ard idling and talking rubbish haha...
although truth be told i 'll miss come ppl much more than others haha
but i really like my commanders haha... eh ALMOST all of them anyway...
they really really nice... although they seem abit off at first but then towards the end they r like the best we cld ever get =)
i abit shagged now so i don't think i'll go into the nitty gritty abt why they r nice haha...
so juz a really big thanx to ps ken aka "kira", sgt khalid, sgt khairul and of course my pc! =)
hm... did i miss someone out? hm... i think i did but nvm i'm too tired to figure it out =P
i guess when u reach the endpoint and when u start turning ard to take another look at the footprints u've left behind... somehow u tend to be more appreciative and less disapproving...
thats juz the way i feel now haha...
bmt wasn't all that bad afterall haha... easy for me to say cause its over for me haha...
or maybe its the anticipation for the path ahead... its gonna be so much tougher out there sigh...

oh well...
i 've quite a long break and i better make full use of it... lots of things to do!
1) catch up with old and new friends
2) buck up on my lousy and way-behind time keyboard
3) cybuster!
4) uni and scholarship application (shall be homebound tml)
5) play ps2
6) go kbox? whee!
7) go shopping? although i really wonder where i gonna get money from recruit's pay is really peanuts...
8) xtra trg =(
9) eat nice food
10) and erm... many other things...
see! busy sia!

... ... EVERYTHING AHEAD ... ...

alritey at least a'lvl is settled for no...
quite satisfied with my results i guess...
the 4as are nice and the b3 was slightly disappointing but i guess overall its still quite gd haha...
oh well its not as if i'm aiming for those super-hard-to-get scholarships or unis haha...
i guess i'm juz gonna stay in sg haha unless i happen to land myself some scholarship thats can land me somewhere but thats quite hard to imagine for now...
i'm quite undecided abt which course to take though... there's a general direction but well its hard to be decisive when u going slightly off-tangent from all ur clsmates haha... oh well nvm...
eh hopefully the open hse nxt wk 'll help me make up my mind...
and there's scholarship to think abt too!
headache man...
i wonder how i gonna get my way through this bleah...

not to mention there's the final EI tml!
whether or not i can qualify is one thing but do i want it in the first place?
hm...
i muz admit i'm not exactly a ns/military kind of guy...
xtra 9 months of trg sounds really gloomy and distasteful rite now... actually 5 months doesn't seem much better... okay maybe its slightly less gloomy and distasteful than 9 months...
rite... so where does that place me now...