Cause its Chinese New Year! So I’m here to sweep away the cobwebs and breathe some life into this “wasting-away” blog of mine.
Chinese New Year is like getting less and less big of a thing as I continue to grow older each year. We used to like get all anxious and competitive over the amount of “ang bao” money earned but now its like I don’t really care much about it now. Okay, its a hefty amount of additional allowance but not really something I would like to waste my time fawning over. I suppose this is the trend until you are finally married and end up on the other side of the spectrum – the “losing” end that is.
There isn’t anything spectacular about CNY this year and its just the usual fanfare and humdrum for me. If anything, I must say that its a nice break, although NUS cheated us of our holidays by combining CNY breaks with recess week. And right after that, mid-terms will be coming up in about 1 week’s time so there’s really not alot of time left for me to “recollect” myself after the CNY break mood and get back into the studying mood. But I guess I will worry about that after this break haha.
Studies aside, I have been insanely stressed by sponsorship matters for FOC. I get nightmares whenever I imagine that we won’t be able to enough sponsorship and that everything is going to be screwed up and I will be responsible for it. Then I will start panicking and keep pushing my committee members to move faster (but i must really say that some of them are really in need of pushing). And I absolutely hate socializing when I’m in a stressed mode, its just one of my mood things that I have going on. Things will probably get worse as we get closer and closer to FOC and I can’t imagine how I am going to survive it haha. I really hope things will start picking up after this CNY break and things will be more smooth sailing from here on.
And I am still get insanely jealous whenever I notice really “talented” people. “Talented” because I refuse to sweep all their hardwork out of the door with the word talent, especially in cases when I’m really unsure if they are real talents or “talents” because of behind-the-scene efforts. This distinction is uber important to me because I belong to the latter group – i mean hardworking but I’m not so sure about the “talent” part haha. But to get back to the topic, I really admire those people with muscial talents/skills – like being a professional vocalist (can you imagine being called a vocalist? how cool is that haha), playing piano/guitar/other musical instrument (my expectations are low so yeah even moderate or simply knowing how to play is gd enough for me), doing super slick dances and so on. I think its cool if you have something that you are really good at. But unfortunately I still have no idea what I’m good at! They always say that everyone is good at something but erm, I’m still trying my best to believe in it haha. So at times like this, I will wish that I’m actually in the talented group so I won’t have to work so hard just to try to do things that I like. I must admit that I like to think sometimes having the efforts is enough, so sometimes I just stop at efforts without going further. But as we all know it, life demands much more than that most of the time so I tend to get tired real fast trying to catch up. At least that’s how things are like now, but I still hoping that after my next 10 years, life will be easier down the road =)