... ... LYRICS ... ...

i had a random kbox session today cause i decided i needed to get things out after suffering several sleepless nights for the past week...
haha thanx to all the ppl who turned up for this most random event =)

i suppose i'm too used to singing through an entire song without taking turns haha... so it took a while before i figured out thats wat the rest were doing... and i apologise if i seem to be hogging some songs cause i really didn't know paiseh... and for lots of other stuff too cause i think i was a bit "preoccupied" and "missing" today... cld 've been a better "player" haha paiseh...
anyway somehow i ended up taking all the ulu not-so-familiar songs so i keep soloing here and there haha... while most ppl biao ge by going upwards and higher i guess i prefer to go inwards although its also partly cause i cannot really go very high haha... but its nice to juz sit back and listen to the rest sing cause everyone there can really sing quite well... makes me kinda jealous but well... there are certain facts of life u juz can't change =)
i seem to be picking all the emo songs lately bleaugh... its probably not gd for health but i'm kinda addicted to it sigh... and so inevitably i made 飘着 my last song for the day cause its always nice to throw everything out during the last part of the song haha...

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
难过是因为闷了很久
是因为想了太多
是心理起了作用

不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同 很不相同
想要说 却还沉默
伸出手 无法触碰

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
错在明知是错
快乐该怎么选择

因为我活在西界 只拥有半个白天
一到午后夜色就蔓延
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

当盲目的黑夜 清晰过白昼
当奢侈的快乐 赔上了所有
当假装的理智 熬不过放纵
每个路口 怎么转都错
我进退不得 谁救我

飞不进你梦中 偷一点感受
飞不回原来我 冰冷的躯壳
就这样漂浮着 悲伤的穿梭
感觉掏空 灵魂不在了
爱情突然失重 在飘着

地面灯火像是星光闪耀
什么地方等着我降落停靠
想留不能留才最寂寞
没说完温柔只剩离歌
这样的转身 有点太牺牲

短暂的来回奔跑
不曾解开的背包
我参与的人生太潦草
快乐常在门外绕
太多陌生的夜晚让我困扰
幸福它真的不容易

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞
风筝在阴天搁浅 想念还在等待救援
风吹过的思念 曾有过的眷恋

读完了依赖 我很快就离开
释怀说了太多就成真不了
贝壳里隐藏什么期待 等花儿开
我们也已经无心再猜

我知道这一路的风风雨雨 它总是让人跌倒
也知道这一路的曲曲折折 会模糊了我的想要
未来也许飘渺 我的力量也许很渺小
要让你知道执着是我 唯一的骄傲

to be honest i lost track of how many songs i used haha...
i know i wished i had an easier me to deal with but its not gonna come true anytime soon so i guess i juz gotta bear with it... but its juz sometimes the distance the loneliness can be so overwhelming that its hard to stop it from collapsing inwards on you... and cause of that i actually 've to remind myself to continue breathing at night while i'm trying to slp... but i secretly wonder if i'm actually making something out of nothing blah...

last of all i'm flying to wallaby! 'll only be back on the 24th...
no matter wat i think now... i can't help guessing that i'll realise juz how much i'll miss the ppl ard me... and sometimes i really wonder how other ppl can survive studying overseas cause its so far away from everyone u're familiar with...
i guess a person's characteristics really matters that much haha adieos! =)

... ... NOT SINGAPORE DUH ... ...

i cringe whenever i listen to the songs that brought me through sispec... cause they remind me of simply too many things...
it was the same then it is the same now...

every once in a while i'll chance upon a bk that deals with the life of, or rather the "atrocities", of teenagehood that always make life seems that much more interesting... only that the painfully striking similarity among all these books is that none of the events in the books took place in Singapore... and i really wonder why sigh...

and its slightly more than 1 wk to wallaby!
to me, wallaby is all abt the great escape and i juz wanna disappear into the great unknown and novelty of it...
but i still wonder if its juz my wistful thinking...

... ... AIMLESS DRIFTING ... ...

went for my platoon cohesion on fri and thanx to that i manage to escape from the camp on thurs nite cause we had to meet really early the nxt morning (to tell the truth its really all how u go abt planning haha)...
went swimming at jurong east there and it was unexpectedly fun... its nice to juz drift ard and relax without doing or thinking anything... juz floating round and round the entire pool wihch 've this artificial current pushing u ard the pool which is in the shape closed loop... or juz bobbing up and down in the pool with artificial waves...

and i really enjoyed that aimless feeling...

rite after that we cabbed down to suntec for lunch at this jap buffet place called kushin-bo... for approx $30 i thought the food was kinda limited but i guess its cause its a jap buffet and not those international kinds... although the atmosphere was still kinda odd and i really need alot more time adjusting and getting used to the ppl in my platoon... sometimes i wish i was juz more sociable and more interesting to others bleah... after a torturous period of just siting ard doing nth and making those awkward random small talks, we finally got out from there and it was kinda a relief to get away and spend some time alone...

sat and sun was kinda routine... though i hate to put it this way but it seems thats all i cld come up with this wkend... i'm spending so much time on the com and tv that i wldn't be surprised if my eyesight has deteriorated by 10 folds since then... either that or i'm trying to finish my bks which doesn't really make it any easier on my eyes haha... that's wat happens when u 've a boring lifestyle and we all know who/what to blame for that hah...

it gets a tad depressing sometimes when u realise u're no longer laughing at the stuff other ppl r rolling over the floor abt...
i really need to find more friends who share common interests with me!
how hard can that be? sigh

... ... ABT NOTHING ... ...

this is really bad...
it seems that nowadays i actually need like 1h juz to come up with a blog entry...
somehow its really difficult to extract some significant stuff out of all the woozy memories wheezing ard in my head to blog abt...
i wonder if its because life is such a bore or that my brain's totally wasted... hm and it hurts trying to figure out so i think i shall give it a rest for now...

rite now life in the army is really a drag...
its like i'm practically stoning and blanking out everyday... there's really nothing to do during all the free time i 've in camp... now that i wld rather 've trg etc. but its juz i really bored to the verge of frustration...
and its making me feel that "ns-is-a-waste-of-time" grudge and u know how torturous it is when u know u're helpless to change any of it...
at the very least there's the "i-net/resource rm" for me to go online now and then...
but otherwise life's been eh... frustrating
3 more weeks to wallabi or isit wallaby! (i never seem to get it rite)
and strangely i actually 've this sense of anticipation for it... hah

back at home i spend my time trying to clean up my unfinished games...
proud to say i manage to finish my onimusha today... after like 6h of grilling through the consecutive boss fights... okay finally that's one down...
and i actually reverted to playing some old ps games on the pc haha... so its like i'm playing the whole day either on the pc or the ps... but i realise its giving me lots of headaches...
to be frank i haven't been feeling that gd for the past few days (sometimes i believe it has smth to do with being stuck in camp 5 days a wk)
okay to sum it up i'm a little dunno-wat-to-do-at-home during the wkends and that's bad really bad... i really need to go out for a breather soon...
shall try to do out nxt wkend and hopefully catch resident evil 3 too =)

p.s u can call to find me at my sig coy office the whole of this sunday cause i doing my COS duty there but i'm not gonna give u the no.
okay i dunno why i'm putting this here... sigh