... ... 2006 ... ...

and its the last day of 2006...
2006 has been a pretty eventful yr i guess...
i suppose thats how we grow up... by accumulating an ever-expanding pool of experiences and emotions and eventually mould them into the shape of our adultselves...
is that wat growing up is all abt? then perhaps its better to delay the process and accumulate more before we trap ourselves in that one fixed shape...
haha i muz admit that's a little too pessimistic a view on the process of adulthood but lets juz say that i'm not totally prepared to take the final step =)

no one ever said jc2 was gonna be a piece of cake... esp with that overbearing a'lvls waiting rite at the end...
but then again, intentionally or unintentionally, it 'll be cherished because of all the effort that we had to put in...
incidentally i was going through my old blog entries these few days...
going through all that old troubles and fun again was well... a most entertaining process haha...
and i guess somehow i really do miss the good old days haha...
2006 has its own share of gd and bad times i suppose...
well somewhere along the line i guess i do miss sch and my cls haha...
juz hanging out together somewhere and even sitting together during tutorials and lectures haha...
we are one amazing mixture of ppl really haha...
yup 05S72 kinda miss the sching days with ur already...
hope u 'll let me off for watever evils i did back then haha
so all the best to all of u...
and see ur during the chalet nxt yr! =)

regretfully that's as much as i wanna say abt my jc2 life in sch =(

personally i think i changed alot this yr and thats really quite regrettable... esp towards the later 1/2 of the yr...
but then i suppose i had tried my best in every circumstances that i was placed in... although sometimes i 've to admit it juz wasn't enough...
oh well... emotionally i came a long long way haha...
well towards the end i was quite drained out i guessed but there's nothing like a gd break to replenish the lost energy haha...

i don't suppose i make many new friends this yr... more like maintaining or continuing friendships i guess since i already met all the new ppl in J1 haha...
haha to everyone out there...
hope i 've been as great a friend to ur as ur 've been to me haha =)
really i cldn't 've make it past this yr without some of ur ard...
u know who u r so thanx!
now i juz wanna spend time with ppl i'm comfortable and perhaps close with before i send myself packing into ns haha... although i'm abit reluctant to organise stuff nowadays haha...
don't think i've much time left though haha...frankly i haven't seen much of 4a or my np squadmates this yr =(
well i dunno... ppl do get tired at times really...
but anyway i really miss ur and the gd times we had together... i really wished that we cld really all meet up together or smth to juz talk abt the old times but i think thats quite hard really...
so i juz hope ur manage to read this and at the very least, remember some gd times in our past haha...

only a little bit of time left to 2007...
hm... i always feel abit sad when the yr ends haha...
there's always this feeling that more cld 've been done and that things cld 've been different somehow...
is this wat they call regrets?
maybe thats wat make the memories more vivid and lasting...
yup time's slipping through our fingers once again...
i guess i gonna stop here...
perhaps the last few moments are best spent on the worthy memories before 2007 brings us to the frest start...
and last of all to everyone out there...
Happy New Year =)

... ... HUANG JIN JIA ... ...

watched curse of the golden flower (aka man cheng jing dai huang jin jia but i prefer to juz call it huang jin jia haha) on thurs...
heard like all kinds of comments abt the movie ranging from sux to sianz/boring to epic...
but after watching i thought it wasn't as bad as i heard... actually i think its quite nicely done haha...

i guess if u're out watching for action... there's only that bit near the end of the movie...
but personally i think the point of the movie isn't so much abt the action bah... i 'ld like to think its cuts deeper in for a somewhat thoughtful portrayal of human emotions maybe...
its kinda hard to put a face to the fuzzy idea in my head haha...
but well i guess this is my own perspective of the movie and even if its totally out... it doesn't really matter cause anyway its my own experience, as determined by it, cannot be judged in anyway haha =)
yup so i quite enjoyed the movie haha...
suddenly i wish it was a lit text for me to study haha i think there are like many things to think abt haha...
or i may just be making smth out of nth...
i juz love to do that =)

anyway before that we walked ard cine while waiting for the movie to start...
ritz got himself a cap but too bad i didn't really see anything in my interest... maybe not in cine anyway...
went heeren after the movie and i realise i haven't been there for like months maybe haha...
got a few new shops here and there and apparently hmv changed its layout somewhat haha...

oh wait...
i realise i forgot to include smth that make me day an even nicer one than it already was haha...
i 've no more metal in my mouth!
isn't that juz cool haha...
yup before the movie i went to ndc to remove my braces... it wasn't exactly a pleasant process though haha...
but well its sure nice to regain freedom haha...
so i celebrated the event by watching huang jin jia haha well watever...
now i needa find some way to whiten my teeth!
argh... if only i can juz use white paint and go over them that wld save all the trouble...
i wonder if all those whitening toothpaste actually works... i 've always doubted their effectiveness i mean like who has really experienced whiter teeth by usig specific toothpastes...
oh well we shall see how...

yup...
it was a nice way to break the montony of the previous days when i spend all my time at home going through a routine of ps games, keyboard practices and other miscellaneous stuff... not to mention the barrage of bad news that has been dropping down from the sky for the past wk... haha
well and i realise i only 've 2 wks left!
oh well big congrats to me then thats how my hols before "imprisonment" was spent... wonderful...
gotta find someway to make the rest of the days worthwhile then...
okay that's abt all... haven't really blogged such a long entry for a long time haha...
adieos...

... ... WO DE JIAO AO ... ...

i don't even know wat to feel...
looks like my np u and all the badges and wat not 've gone missing!
it feels like i've lost a part of myself...
can feel the sense of loss gnawing at me...
crapz...
its not so much the uniform cause i 've a spare one at home but my badges and all that r gone as well!
oh well they maybe juz painted metals but then they mean so much to me...
so much that they symbolise but then i guess that's it...
the feeling is so real now...
bet a false dawn and a dark nite... i guess i'm still hoping for that tiny bit of miracle...
sigh...

.. ... SCANNER ... ...

i think i may be a scanner...
but i don't read barcode labels or tell u the identity and how much something at the supermarket costs...

hm...

... ... MOON ... ...

hm...
wat i remember most?
sitting at the pavilion waiting for the rest to arrive... and watching the rain falling all ard, relentlessly endlessly...
6 of us starting the fire... for the things they did and the things they didn't under the limited conditions that we were placed in...
the journey home... walking with clement to the bus stop and the mrt ride back with the rest...
really thanx to the ppl that came (in chronological order) :
daryl, ming han, chaoqun, kwong ee, tze, kian, wei da, min hao, clement, gab, chi, di kai... yup 12 in total...

yup i realised i committed 2 big giant mistakes this time rd...
oh well i guess i needa apologise for them... sorry abt that it seems like i wasn't exactly thinking very rationally...
but well that juz goes to prove 1 thing doesn't it...
yup i think i've finally found the answer...



*he saw it imprinted in the night sky...
that faint shimmer hanging high above...
but why was it so dark outside?

... ... GROSS OVERSIGHT ... ...

i sux at blading haha...
so paiseh gotta make everyone wait for me haha...
oh well...
i guess i need more blading sessions... that is if i ever get down to it hah...
which i think not =)

and u know smth...
i guess i left earlier and went further than i thought i did...
it was so apparent wasn't it...
on hindsight perhaps i shld 've expected it all along haha...
it was practically glaring at me these years... my own oversight indeed...

i guess its a miracle i made it thus far haha...
after thinking it through i decided i 'll throw all that i've previously typed into the other blog...
oh well...
i'm tired and i'm practically in depression!
and i feel so lonely... not juz the physcial sense but in everything else...
there is nothing for me is there...
self pity... an addictive sin of the weak...

... ... RELATIVE EASE ... ...

a random update...

play games/music...
read books...
pack my rm...
and that's all i 've to do...
=)

... ... PROM ... ...

i don't really know how to go abt blogging this...

there were the shopping trips...
there were the discussions, the planning, the anticipation...
there was the travelling to and from jeffrey's hse...
there was the scouting ard thiong bahru shopping centre...
there was the lagging...
there was supercuts... the waiting the process the first look at our new hairstyles...
there was the wind and our paranoia...
there was the lagging again and the final preparation...
there were taxi trips and stepping rite into the hotel and the ballroom...
there were flowers to be given and then random small talks at the tables...
there were food drinks competitions votings and other performances...
there was the best hairdo (daryl) there was the best acessorised (shiqi)...
there were many old familiar faces and that many photographs and flashes...
there was kbox and pool...
there was the energy and the lack of it...
there was anticipation and then pleasure and then doubt and then nothingness...
there was that moment when things were packed and that air of departure...
there was that long walk when my heart died on me... and that was all that matters suddenly...
there was breakfast at macs and the journey home...
there was that moment when i was alone and everything came haunting back... when i looked back at the fading track and wondered to myself wat has really been...

so many were and was... so many shld and cld...
i guess i wldn't forget for a very long time =)



now that its over...
i guess i'm empty now... maybe i 've nothing more to give...
i guess i need a long break away from everything... to recharge myself maybe...
there's a long way behind and an equally long way ahead...