DISTRACTIONS

I’m feeling quite distracted right now. It’s like there are too many things running through my mind at the same time. I think its the side effect of getting myself obsessed over The Last Remnant and playing it whole day and night, kinda like I’m not giving my brains and eyes and mental stamina enough time to rest and relax. Coupled with all the random realisations and ideas popping in and out of my head, i’m currently in that state of being lost. I feel like I just stepped off after 20 rounds on the merry-go-round actually – quite a taxing sensation.

hopefully, I will be able to regain abit more of my composure this week.

Anyway, just to round up and finish off this 4A’04 + 5 gathering, I must admit it was quite fun to meet up with everyone and chit-chat about random stuff, ranging from old memories to new discoveries and what not. I have my own doubts and suspicions about certain things but i guess its easier to leave them as question marks haha. I’m really quite lazy to go and blog about the gathering in detail but overall, i think the atmosphere (in all aspects) was quite good. Though it doesn’t change my personal perspective on my standing in such gatherings and I’m not sure if I can blame anyone for it anyway. That said and planned and done, I don’t foresee any events coming up for a very long time. I suppose I really should have mixed feelings about that, sigh.

浪漫的逃亡

I FEEL LIKE GOING ON A HOLIDAY!

gosh! I’ve been talking to too many people who are either, in the midst of preparing to go on a holiday, or have just came back from one! now I’ve this urge to get myself travelling as well but it doesn’t look like it will  be happening anytime soon for me =(
I have been reading <<浪漫的逃亡>> by 阿信 from 五月天 (I’m suddenly a huge fan of his haha) Its basically a travelogue on Japan and its only making my urge to go on a trip stronger haha.

Anyways, I’m more than 1/2way through this “break” of mine and its like I haven’t really settled down for whatever that’s supposed to come up next. It seems like I’m dabbling in too many things at the same time haha. I’m in the midst of picking up my “leftover” music practices, trying to learn some basic Jap, organising a class gathering and some random outings, applying for scholarship, reading <<浪漫的逃亡>>, going swimming, finding and starting myself on some RPG games and trying to idle some time away in the way that I like. And I went to recce for my birthday celebration location as well (if its going to happen that is haha). And I haven’t even started arranging for my driving lessons, not to mention i also have to look for another temp job with relatively okay pay and working hours to suit my driving lessons and what not. And now, I’m thinking about going on another holiday! This is starting to get a little overwhelming haha.

I realised I used alot of “and” in this blog entry. Hm, yeah just an observation.

AND IT’S REALLY OVER

yup, finally ended up today. It really has been a long 3 months and I’m quite relieved that its finally over! The last 2 weeks has been really hectic with all the preparations for the fair and of course, the actual show itself. At least things went quite smoothly and I think there weren’t really any serious hiccup, at least on my side i think haha. It was a good working experience, although I won’t say it was a relaxing/very enjoyable time, cause there’s really too much to handle for a temp job. But, at least its finally over and I did learn a from this job. I’m quite lazy to go blog in detail about the fair itself, just that it was quite fun to go around and see all the nice furniture and booth designs. Actually, I wanted to see if I could possibly buy some nice stuff back but in the end, I was tied up here and there and couldn’t really get some time away to secure a deal with the exhibitors. And by then, most of the stuff has been sold anyway haha. And its really quite a hassle trying to get the items out of the hall and back to my house so I gave up on the idea in the end, probably next time if I’m back as a VISITOR hah.

Now that I’m properly freed, it’s time for a short break before I embark on anything new again. And there’s the class gathering to confirm and finalise and my driving lessons to start proper. Whatever the case, I’m going on a short break for now. It’s not really a holiday but its just that kind of break that I need to take for me to stop and recharge myself, to get that 沉淀的韧性 back.

WORK WORK AND WHAT I HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF INTO

nowadays i'm starting to see alot of those angsty songs in my playlist, hm maybe soon I'll find myself in the league of Marilyn Mason and such (though its still quite unthinkable right now).

whatever it is, I have been OTing everyday (including Sat and Sun) for the past 1 wk plus! (coming close to 2 wks) and its really draining me out. I keep wishing that this job doesn't come with so much responsibility and brain-power requirement. Sometimes, I just want that "brainless" moments where I can just switch off and wander off into deep space for a while. And things look set to become worse as the fair draws nearer. I will have to go down to Singapore Expo real soon and will be stuck there permanently until the end of my contract. They do have a room for us to stay in so we don't have to travel to and fro Singapore Expo everyday but then the idea of "staying in" for 1 whole week is really quite a turn off. Not to mention the silly requirement for "dress-code uniformity" that creates unnecessary troubles and incur unneeded expenses in order to get those wear-once-in-a-long-while shirts and ties. I probably could continue to rant for another half a page but I shall stop here and stop boring you with these unrelated issues.

Anyways, I'm not sure which state of mind I was in to actually start organising another class gathering. To start off, I really didn't have any concept or idea on how I'm going to pull it off and its really like a go-along-and-see-how situation, which probably means its going to be a logistics nightmare just trying to decide the date, location and event. Quite an inefficient way of organising an outing but what's done is done haha. Erm, I just hope some unexpected help will magically appear and give the extra push to make things happen (I hope its a push in the right direction though) Actually the timing of starting this now is quite off as well, cause I'm going to be MIA for the this 2 weeks as I prepare for the fair and I probably won't have much time to work on the outing haha. Oh well, just see how it goes then.

我很想找个属于自己的时间和空间，做些无关紧要的无聊事。

在我喘不过气的时候，我只希望能如此地放纵，

让我去游荡，去放逐，去飘浮，

找回那沉淀的韧性。